


Monika's Redemption

by randomclustermissile



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Child Abuse, Depression, Drowning, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, May contain references no-one will understand, Multi, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Tags may change as story progresses, polyamory (or at least an attempt at writing it)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomclustermissile/pseuds/randomclustermissile
Summary: An alternate reality where we follow the story of Monika. And that she is a good person, for once.





	1. Chapter 1

I'm dreaming again. Always the same dream. I'm submerged underneath a vast ocean with no end. Bubbles representing my last breath emanate from my lungs. A pulsing headache racks my brain, sending waves of bright light into my eyes. In the distance, I hear the voice of a man I don't recognise, whispering the same lines over and over again. “Can You Hear Me?” I frantically look around but I don't see him. I never see him. Slowly, my vision starts to go dark as I prepare myself for the worst. 

I feel hands groping my legs, pulling me even further under. Incomprehensible images and sounds start blaring through my vision and my eardrums. All my senses are heightened, yet I can do nothing to stop the chaos and pain. 

“No!” I finally manage to scream, using every effort I can to push myself away from everything. 

“Ah!” I gasp loudly, and sit perfectly upright. My body is drenched in a cold sweat. I'm awake. Finally. I'm in my bedroom, a dark yet somewhat cosy room that I made for myself in this void. In this world there is no script ever showing my bedroom, so why on Earth create in the first place? I choose to make my own living space out of it anyway, despite not having any real memory of what living is like. Every memory is a fabrication, a line of code which forms my memories. Remembering this, I start to feel sick, which makes me feel worse because I know that feeling isn't real either. I slowly get up and put on my school uniform. As I go to grab my skirt, I notice a pile of clothes that weren't there before. I pick them up. It's a cute cyan shirt and a pair of black jeans.

“Something is different.” I say aloud to nobody. After all, I do live alone. My parents never existed. I just materialised into the world as a 16-year-old girl and learned to live with it. Never ageing, never dying. Just repeating over and over again. Until now, apparently. I examine the shirt more closely, and a note falls out onto the ground. I stoop down and pick it up.

'It's different now. The world has changed. You have been given a chance. Do not waste it. Make your decisions carefully. Don't worry, now you have someone to help you.'

I drop the note, my face turning white. “Someone to help me?” I whisper. Now that I think about it, there's a very familiar shade of pink dots surrounding my vision whenever I make some sort of action or think about something. 

No. It can't be. You. You have control over me now. There's no telling what power you have now. I can't make my own decisions anymore. See to it that I don't make the same mistakes I did before. I have a chance now. Even if it technically isn't mine, I have more power now. We can change the story. Together. Let's be a fucking hero.


	2. Clubs Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to create a club! But who would want to join something as dull as a Literature Club?

It's Monday, 8am. School starts in half an hour. I pack my things. I don't bother eating, it's not exactly necessary for someone of my size. I try not to let that bother me as I walk out my house. As usual, the wind instantly belts at my hair, which took me an hour to clean, brush and put product in. Especially with that goddamn white bow, the tails slap my face as I walk. I pout and sigh, exasperated. The rain is gentle, but cold, and I shield myself with my waterproof folder to avoid it hitting my face.

I arrive at my first class with ten minutes to spare, as usual. The teachers are always kind enough to devote their time to us so we can learn, so I should grant them that respect. Even if it is their source of money, and even if they're not real people, it's the least I can do. Besides, they're not the 'people' I'm usually concerned about, before you go and judge me.

Classes are fairly standard, nothing of massive importance. And by that I mean the script decided it wasn't important enough to include in the story, so it skipped it and just planted false memories in my brain. So now I'm at the school's main noticeboard, poster in hand. In my lunch hour I made a poster for a new club I'm making. Hopefully it'll draw people in. It's a little more... dull-sounding... than I originally anticipated but we just have to see how it goes. I pin the poster to the noticeboard, right underneath the sign-up sheet for the Debate Club (Suck it assholes. Good luck without me). I start to walk off when I hear an enthuastic voice down the corridor, yelling my name as she runs up to me.

“Monika! Monika!” She yells. She seems more excited now than she was I first met her. She walked past me as I was making my poster and said she wanted to join. “You put up the poster! It looks soooooo good! This is bound to get people to join!” She brushes a strand of messy copper hair out of her face and behind her ear. She puts her hands on her knees, clearly out of breath.

“Ahaha thank you Sayori! You really think so?”

“Hell yeah! It looks amazing!”

I'm surprised. Not by what she said, but more by the fact that I wasn't _expecting_ her to say that. I used to be able to predict everyone's dialogue, everyone's movements, and even their thoughts. But now? Something really has changed. Like I'm fairly sure this scene never actually plays out in the 'other realities'. It's a nice change.

“Well we need at least two other members before we can become an official club. Do you know some people who might be willing to join?”

Sayori starts visibly sweating. I don't need to read her mind to know that she was afraid of this question. “Well...” She trails off. “I do know a couple of people... But neither of them are really too keen on the idea of 'literature'. Like, define 'literature' for me?”

I'm surprised with how eloquent she sounds here. Before she was stumbling over all her words, never finding the right one. “Well... I mean... anything with writing on that conveys some sort of emotion... Like poetry and fictional prose.”

Sayori narrows her eyes. “Like... anything?”

“Well... I guess...”

“Perfect!” Her skeptical expression is suddenly wiped from her face by a large beaming grin. “I'll see you tomorrow!” She runs off, tripping on her untied shoelace on the way. I worry about that girl sometimes, and I only just met her. I start to turn and head in the opposite direction when suddenly I walk straight into a very tall girl carrying a stack of novels and workbooks.

“Oof!” We both cry, smacking into each other. Her books fly outwards and onto the ground. I clutch my head. That hurt. “Oh my gosh I'm super sorry!” I frantically cry as I help her up and gather her things.

“N-no it's fine!” She stammers nervously. “If I was looking where I was going, I-I would have seen you and avoided you! Oh I hope I haven't hurt you or caused you any inconvenience!”

I stare at her. She's nervously sweating and seems desperate to get away from me. Her face turns red. With the hand that isn't carrying all the books, she nervously twirls with the tips of her unnaturally purple hair. She seems shy, but friendly enough. I pick up one of the books from off the ground. I've never seen it before, but it looks interesting. I hand it back to her, smiling sweetly.

“Looks like a good read.”

“T-thanks... It's one of my favourite books actually. It's about-” She cuts herself off. “Sorry... I haven't even introduced myself and I'm already rambling...” She turns away from me and hides her face in her hands. “Ooh... I'm so stupid. I just keep rambling all the time...” She whispers, just barely audible enough for me to her. I tilt my head at her while she's not looking in curiousity.

“Ahaha!” I laugh, not in a cruel way, but more in a friendly way.

“Oh and now she's laughing at me... I'm such an idiot...”

I frown guiltily, sensing I did something wrong. I put my hand on her shoulder warmly, to assure her.

“Hey hey! Don't worry about it. If anything, I'd love to hear you ramble about books. I'm starting a new club all about it actually!” I point towards the poster I made and she stares in astonishment.

“Holy shit did you really make this? Like by yourself? It's so beautiful!” She stares in awe. “I've never seen such pristine handwriting.”

I blush, embarrassed. “Thank you, but it's really nothing.

She gasps. I can tell she didn't listen to a word I said then. “No way! A Literature Club? That's so amazing!”

Two new members in one day. Wow. I'm astonished. I've only just started it too.

“When does it start?” She turns to me suddenly, making me jump.

“Tomorrow!” I cry suddenly. She giggles.

“I'm so excited! I've never had anyone to share with before!” Her face suddenly drops. “A-are there many m-m-members? I'm not so good with p-people...” Her stammering returns and she stares down at the floor.

“As of now? You're literally the third person aside from me.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?” She quickly tries to hid her excitement. “I-I mean... That's a shame... I-I thought there'd be more...”

“Well I just started it today, so I'm surprised I have members already.” We start walking off down the hallway. It's much clearer now that the other students have left. “So I never asked,” I look up at her, her purple eyes staring right through me. “What's your name?”

“Oh!” She appears startled, as if she completely forgot that she hadn't told me her name. “M-my name is Yuri, what's yours?” She reluctantly stretches her hand out awkwardly.

“Monika. It's nice to meet you.” I smile sweetly at her and shake her hand. We walk out into the sunshine. It's still cold, but at least it's stopped raining.

“It's nice to meet you too.” Yuri stops, her eyes seem sad, as if she didn't want the conversation to end. “A-anyway, uh, this is my stop. Thanks for inviting me to the Club! I think I'll really enjoy it!” She waves goodbye as she climbs on the bus. I wave back before heading off in the opposite direction, back home.

 

 


	3. Something old, something new

I lay down on my bed. As I stare up at the white ceiling, my mind races. I realise now that I never actually predicted meeting Yuri. While Sayori was a given as she always becomes vice-president across all realities, Yuri's meeting was unexpected. I originally wasn't supposed to meet her until the first club meeting. I already knew her name – and well, everything else about her – but the script says I wasn't supposed to meet her in that instance, in the hallway. Her behaviour seemed... uncharacteristic.

“Something is different”, I think to myself again. My mind is filled with everything that has happened in these past two days, and despite it not really being much, my brain still feels exhausted taking it all in. I turn on my front and stare at the wall beside my bed. 

“God what will he be like? Will he be different too?” I say aloud. My eyes widen. “Will I be different?” I think about what I did in previous timelines. How it can be changed. “Promise me you won't make the same mistakes I did. Please help me become a better person.” I speak aloud. Despite being alone in the room, in the house, I know someone is listening. Pink dots flash in my peripheral vision. I take a deep breath and let out a long sigh. A single tear falls down my face. I realise I'm still in my uniform. I don't care. Without even bothering to get under the covers, I fall asleep. 

*

I awake the next morning at 5am. I lay, staring at the ceiling. 

“Fuck.” I whisper quietly. I slap my face lazily with one hand and rub my eyes and nose. My hair is a mess. I know I'm not gonna be able to get back to sleep, so I get up and wander around my house. It's dark and quiet, but not in an ominous way, more... peaceful. I boil the kettle and grab the jar of teabags. I chuckle. “Oh if Yuri could see me now.” I was, and never will be, as dignified as her, however. She prefers to use actual leaves, instead of bags. As I said before, I already know everything about her. I take of my sip of my tea. It's hot, but I don't care. I stare out over the landscape outside my kitchen window. It really is beautiful. It's like a glimpse into the actual reality. You know, your reality. I sigh. The dim street lights twinkle all over the small city. In the distance, a thin blue line hovers over the large hill, indicating the first glimpse of sunrise. My hands gripping the mug tightly send the warmth from the tea through my arms and around my body. I shiver, realising how cold it is. I shake my head. I finish my tea and lie down on the couch, once again staring at the ceiling. 

“Boy a lot of action happening in this story isn't there?” I ask aloud to no-one. I laugh again. Moaning, I groggily get off the couch and walk towards the bathroom. As the water heats up, I strip. 

“No CG for this one, perverts.” I stick my tongue out at the mirror. I swear I could almost hear disappointed groans. I laugh again and step in the shower. My foot retracts slightly as the hot water meets the surface. I gingerly step in and let the almost-boiling hot water touch my skin. It's refreshing. I ran my hand through my hair, letting it down. I hear whispers in the back of my mind, like internal dialogue, except it's not my own. I close my eyes and shrug, trying to ignore it, but it keeps getting louder. And louder. And louder.

“Can You Hear Me?” 

I freeze. The voice again. I open my eyes and whirl my head around, trying to find the source, even though I know no-one's there. 

“Can You Hear Me?” He says again, much clearer this time. Much less... staticy. “Listen. You don't know who I am, but I know who you are. I know what you've done. I know what you're trying to do. You're just gonna do it again, aren't you?”

I'm scared. I swallow, and I respond. “You don't know who I am. You just recognise my face and voice. I'm a completely different person. But I know who you are. You're the same useless, idiotic, slob who I inevitably fall in love with.”

“Heh. Maybe so.” I can already see him shrugging. “But am I really the same person? You don't know anything. You only care about yourself. You're just-”

“Hypocrite.” I interrupt him before he can insult me again. “You say I'm gonna do the same things as the other Monikas from other realities, yet you say you're gonna be different?” I laugh. “If anything, I have the control now. You're just the autonomous personality.” I punch the wall beneath my shower head. “And I am not making the same mistakes as before. They're not gonna let me.” 

“Who do you think 'they' are?” He laughs. “No need to answer that.”, he says before I get a chance to retort. “Just something for you to think about.” 

“How so? I know for a fact that after this shower, neither of us are gonna remember this conversation.”

“So you do have some control. Clever girl.” His voice fades slightly. “Hey Monika?”

“Yeah?”

“See you soon.”

*

I step out of the shower. I can't really remember what happened. I just zoned out. The second I got used to the hot water on my skin my brain just shut off, as per usual. I dry myself off and get dressed. I breathe in. Out the open window, I can hear birds singing in the trees. A bright, orange light shines over the neighbouring roofs, indicating a beautiful sunrise. I dress and get ready for school.


	4. Welcome to the Literature Club!

The day is as ordinary is ever, and it's over before I know it. I remain in my seat briefly after everyone has left, staring out the window. I mentally prepare myself for what's gonna happen, because now I have no idea. It seems my ability to predict the future is slowly fading as the events change. I'm still aware that I'm trapped though. But now I don't know who's going to show up. I can't even begin to imagine. From what Sayori said yesterday, it sounds like she's bringing in a new member...? Can't tell who it's going to be. I kinda hope it's a guy. Not because of well... that... But it would be nice to have some diversity. I look up at the classroom clock and realise that club meeting is in one minute! I race out the classroom and up the stairs. I finally reach the designated club room and swing open the door. 

Phew! No-one is here yet. I grab the wall next to the door with one hand, balancing myself and take deep breaths. I relax a little, so now it doesn't look like I had to run to get here. I start moving the desks together to form a large table for all the members to sit around when Yuri walks in, holding her books and sweating nervously. 

“I-I'm not late, am I? Uu I'm so sorry!” She looks at me for a second before dropping her gaze. 

“Ahaha! Don't worry Yuri!” I muster a kind smile to reassure her. “I just walked in to. Can you help me arrange these desks?” 

“Of course.” She returns the smile, if weakly, then places her books on a faraway desk beside the window before helping me arrange them. I arrange the desks so that there are 4 chairs to sit at. 

“I thought you said there was only 3 of us?” Yuri asks, giving me a quizzical look. 

“Well my vice-president, Sayori, said she was bringing in a friend of hers.” I smile and wink at her. “I hope it's a cute guy.” 

Yuri visibly sweats and looks down. “Ahaha, sure... me too I guess.” That poor girl. She's trying so hard... Before I can respond, Sayori bangs open the door, interrupting my thoughts and making Yuri jump. “Yo Monika!” Sayori giggles and runs over to hug me. “How are you? Ooh this is nice! I like the way you've arranged the desks! I love this club already!” She turns to Yuri, a large grin on her face. “Oh hello! I'm Sayori, the vice-president!” She outstretches her hand. Yuri is still shaking from the sudden door bang, and she is clearly uncomfortable with Sayori's level of energy. She's gonna have a hard time keeping up. Slowly, Yuri swallows and shakes Sayori's hand. 

“I-i-it's n-nice t-t-to meet you, S-Sayori.” Her stutter becomes even worse, and she can barely even speak. Sayori stares at her, sensing she did something wrong, but she clearly cannot figure out what. Sayori raises an eyebrow at Yuri, indicating that she hadn't introduced herself yet. “Oh! S-sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet.”

“It's ok! Take your time.” Sayori smiles kindly. I decided to try and save the situation.

“This is Yuri, we met yesterday as I was putting up the poster.” I speak up, standing next to Yuri and Sayori. Yuri gives me a weak smile and mouths, “Thank you.” I smile at her in return then turn to Sayori. “So you said you were bringing a new member today?”

“Oh! I completely forgot! Ahahah!” Sayori laughs and puts her hand on her forehead.

“Yeah you did! Can someone let me in please? My hands are kinda full over here!” A high-pitched but loud voice shrieks from outside the closed door. So a girl. Damn.

“Sorry! I got too excited.” Sayori puts the points of her index fingers together, clearly embarrassed and guilty, and opens the door for the strange girl. In walks a short and thin girl with violently bright pink hair tied in multiple ribbons. She's carrying two large boxes of books stacked upon each other. I recgonise it immediately. Manga. You have GOT to be kidding me. I should have known something was up when Sayori said 'anything.' But, wanting to make a good impression, I walk over to her and offer to take the boxes.

“Oh yes please! Jesus christ my arms hurt.” The pink-haired girl sighed. “Just put them over there in the closet.” She points to the closet in the back of the room. I grimace, then jump back to a smile and graciously put the boxes on an empty shelf in the cupboard near the top. “The name's Natsuki. Sayori and I used to go a drama club outside of school when we were kids.” She stretches out her hand towards me, which I take in return. “You must be Monika.” She smiles, a cute, broad smile which reveals one long, wiggly tooth. “I've heard so much about you. Well, that is, about as much as Sayori knew anyway. Haha!” She seems just as energetic as Sayori. Hoo boy. THIS is gonna be fun. “And what's your name?” She asks, turning to Yuri. Yuri is clearly taken aback by Natsuki even addressing her. 

“I-I'm Yuri.” She replies, weakly shaking her outstretched hand. 

“So what made you consider the Literature Club, Yuri?” Natsuki asks. I'm surprised with her assertiveness and how much of a liking she has already taken with the club. She looks like an immature first year, yet she's acting surprisingly... grown up. Yuri beams, as if she was looking forward to this question.

“Well I've always loved reading. Novels with deep and complex fantasy worlds are what always intrigue me the most. Isn't it amazing how a writer can so deliberately take advantage of your own lack of imagination to completely throw you for a loop?” Yuri stops, as if she realised what she just said. “I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean that.” She turns away and puts her head in her hands. “I'm so rude... she's gonna h-hate me...” 

“Yuri!” Natsuki puts her hand on Yuri's shoulder (which is funny cause she has to reach quite far up) and turns her back around. “You didn't say anything wrong! I totally get where you're coming from!” She beams. “Sure it was a little weird thing to say, but I kinda feel the same way about manga! But that's more due to people's preconceptions...” She sighs and looks away. She's clearly insecure about her interest in manga. Well. I can't say I blame her. I for one don't particularly take to it, I think it's childish. But to each their own, I guess. 

“You read manga?” Yuri asks her. “That's... interesting.” It's clear Yuri thinks the same as me about it but tries her best to hid it. Natsuki is so excited she doesn't even notice.

“Yeah! Do you read it too?” She asks her in reply, a bright, hopeful expression on her face. “Not, not particularly... I prefer to read larger novels.”

“Aw that's a shame. But to each their own, I guess.” Natsuki shrugs and repeats what I said in my head not 10 seconds ago. Wow. It's like she can read my mind. Either that or this writer isn't very creative. Sayori is dancing by the blackboard, a huge grin on her face. 

“Everyone is getting along so well already!” She giggles. “I can tell we're all gonna be such great friends!”

“Did you say friends?” Yuri asks. She smiles to herself. “Yeah. Friends.” She chuckles quietly. “I look forward to it.” I can tell that this is a rare opportunity for her. Maybe the club was the happiness she was looking for after all.

“Ooh! This looks cool!” Sayori goes to the desk Yuri put her books on and picks up one of the books.

“Sayori don't-” I start to say, but Yuri gestures to me, telling me it's fine. 

“ 'Portrait of Makrov' ?” Sayori squints at the book. “Ugh this handwriting is so difficult to read with my dyslexia! And what's with the creepy eye?”  
Yuri giggles slightly. “This is one of my favourite books. And it's Markov. It's a horror book, which probably explains the eye.” She replies, gently smiling to herself. 

“Oooh! I read a horror book once!” Sayori giggles. “Didn't really like it though... My friend gave it to me. He's weird. What's the book about?”

“Well...” Yuri trails off, playing with her hair to distract herself. She takes a deep breath in, as if to prepare herself. “It's about a girl who moves in with her long-lost sister at a new high school, but as soon as she does, her life begins to get very strange.”

“Ugh I know that feeling! High-school life, huh?” Natsuki interrupts. I giggle slightly.

“She gets targeted by these people who escaped from a human experiment prison.”

“A what?” 

“Natsuki shush!” Sayori whispers. Yuri doesn't even notice. She's too lost in her element.

“And while her life is in danger, she desperately needs to find who to trust, and ends up ruining most of her relationships.”

“That sounds-!” Sayori starts to say, a surprised expression on her face.

“Kind of dark, isn't it?” I finish for her, smiling nervously at Yuri. “I wouldn't have expected that from you, Yuri, for someone as gentle as you.”

“Ahaha, well, you know. Surreal horror is often very successful and changing the way you look at the world, even for a brief moment. I really can't put it down if it takes me to a new world like that.”

“Ugh, I hate horror...” Natsuki whispers. She nervously looks at Yuri, worried she might be mad at that, but it looks like Yuri didn't even hear her.

“Oh wow! Quite a diverse array of readers. Manga, horror, that's so cool!” Sayori beams. “What do you read, Monika?”

“Well I usually like to read Jane Austen. 'Strong women taking matters into their own hands.' Also the Regency period just seems fascinating to me.” I reply, but in reality I haven't prose read in a while. “I usually just read poetry though. Anything that interests me really. Usually thought-proviking poems are my favourite.” I smile at Sayori. “What do you like to read, Sayori?” 

Sayori swallows and starts to sweat. “Ehehe... well... I haven't really... read in a while... sorry it's embarrassing... I thought it would just be cool to help start a new club...”

I frown, disappointed. Natsuki rolls her eyes. Yuri looks sad. But she did help me with the posters after all. “That's ok! We'll help you find what suits you best!” I beam at her, causing the smile to return to her face.

“Teehee! Yay! This is gonna be the best club ever! Every day is gonna be so much fun!” 

“That's the spirit, Sayori!” Natsuki calls out proudly in return. “I look forward to tomorrow!” 

“Yes. I think this club will make my afternoons far more enjoyable.” Yuri smiles dreamily. “I also look forward to tomorrow. Thank you, Monika, you really have given us all an amazing opportunity.”

I blush at that. It's amazing how wonderful these new members all are. Although I would still like more.

“Well in that case, let's all go home for the day. I'm glad you all decided to join. I'll try and get some activities set up for next week, as this week is just going to be fairly chill. I'll see you tomorrow!” 

Sayori and Yuri all gather their things and leave the clubroom. Natsuki waits until Yuri shuts the door and then beckons me.

“Hey Monika?” She looks nervous. 

“Yeah?” I smile at her. Standing so close to her now, I realise how small she truly is. She's thinner than I am, which is an impressive feat in itself, considering I'm a sprinter and a rower (God that training is so painful) and she barely comes up to my shoulders. I can't help but worry for some reason.

“Would it be alright if I left my manga in the clubroom? It just gets lost otherwise.” She looks at me with an odd and very stern expression, as if to say, “That's not the reason, but please say yes. PLEASE say yes.” 

“Uuhh... sure thing. I don't have a problem with it. But bear in mind the teacher who owns this classroom might not be happy with it. So if she moves it, don't get upset with me. But I'll try talking to her.” I smile reassuringly.

“Thanks Monika. You're the best!” Her expression suddenly perks up again, as she skips out the door with her pink fur-lined bag. I can't help but smile. I shouldn't have judged her so harshly before. She seems like a good kid, and more than that, a valuable club member. Gathering my things, I gently close the door.


	5. Afflictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Reuploaded cause bits were missing. Apologies.

“Why? Why did you do it?”  
I freeze. My eyes snap open and I sit bolt upright in my bed. My duvet and blankets are thrown off my bed, making me shiver from the cold. I look around. The room is empty. I shake my head, I'm just imagining things. I pick up my duvet and blankets and lie my head on the pillow.

“Why did you hurt me, Monika?”

I sit up again. I look at my window. Hanging just in front it, is-

“Sayori?” I whisper, scared.

A ghostly form of Sayori floats in my bedroom. She's ebbing a dull glow. Her face is white, tears streaming down it. Her school blouse is torn and mangled and dangling off her shoulder. There are rope marks around her neck. There are scars on the inside of her thighs. Her fingers are bloody. 

“You changed me. You made me like this. Just to get what you want.” Her mouth isn't moving as speaks. Instead it sits stationary, open slightly, with her tongue resting against the cheek facing downward towards the ground with her lopsided neck. “You're nothing but a selfish, lying, whore. And that's all you'll ever be. You murderer.”

“PLEASE! I'M TRYING TO BE BETTER!” I yell, but my voice is so weak it's drowned out by the gales outside. 

“Tch.” She laughs, but no emotion appears on her dead face. “Weak.” Her voice reverberates around the room, it's difficult to tell where it's coming from. 

“No! He won't let me! I know it! I won't hurt you again.” I clutch my head in agony. The pain won't stop.”

“Say it.” She lifts her head slightly, looking directly at me. “So everyone can be happy.”

“Say what!?” I scream.

“It was all your fault, say it!”

“Please...” The winds get louder, my ears start to ring, tears stream uncontrollably down my face, my voice starts to choke.

“Pathetic. Just say it! SAY IT, MONIKA! SAY IT!” She screams. Her facial expression finally changes. Her once dead face distorts so that It appears her face seems to split in half. Her smile appears lopsided and insane. Blood starts streaming from her pitch-black eyes. 

“It...” I can barely speak. “Was all my fault...” I start sobbing as I finish it.

“F  
i  
n  
a  
l  
l  
y.” 

Sayori disappears. The winds stop. I throw my head on the pillow, but I don't sleep. My body stays rigid in place for the next four hours until morning. 

The sudden noise from my alarm causes me to shake suddenly. My eyes seem to be glued open. I slowly sit up and turn it off, smacking my phone off the bedside table lazily as I do. All I can feel is how heavy my eyelids are and the dull but painful headache around the top of my head. My body convulses as I remember the events that occurred during the night. I clutch at my stomach and stumble out of my bedroom. I collapse against the wall opposite my door and start to cry. 

“Oh God...” I shuffle slowly on my bare feet to the kitchen. My eyes are hot with tears. My burning eyes can barely see colour. 

“Please... Help me...” 

I look out the kitchen window, staring straight through, as if to look at someone, even though I know they're not there. With hand clutching the side of the sink, I convulse again. “I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can take this much longer.” My sobs are interrupted by a text from Sayori. It reads: 

“Hai Monika! :3 Can't wait 2 see u in the club today!!! :D <3” 

I laugh a little bit. I don't why she felt the need to send me that, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't grateful for it. I don't doubt she said to everbody, but the gesture is nice all the same. I reply:

“Ahaha yeah! I look forward to seeing you as well, Sayori!” I hit send, but I felt like that was too formal, so I followed it up with a “:) <3”. 

Feeling a lot better, I quickly make my breakfast and get ready for school. 

*

Soon enough, I'm back at the Literature Club. I come running in, nervously checking my phone as I go. 

“Sorry! I'm super sorry!” I clutch the desk nearest to me, very out of breath. I look around. Yuri is at her faraway desk near the window, consumed by her book, she barely even notices.

“Jeez. What took you so long, Monika?” Natsuki approaches, hands on hips in a disapproving manner. Because of how small she is, it takes every inch of my willpower to not burst out laughing. I swallow.

“Sorry! My last period was study hall, and I lost track of time!” 

“How did you not hear the bell ring?” Natsuki eyeballs me, suspicious.

“God this feels familiar.” I think to myself, as far as I'm aware this wasn't supposed to happen until next week. Until... I suddenly can't remember. 

“Sorry! I must have not heard because I was practicing piano.” At this, Yuri sticks her head up, closes her book and walks over to us.

“Piano?” She asks quietly. “I wasn't aware you played music as well, Monika.” She smiles sweetly, causing my stomach to knot, for some reason. 

“Well I've only just started recently. Like, this week. Ahaha! So I'm not very good at it yet.”

“I'm impressed Monika. First running this club, then making time to practice piano. That must require a lot of determination.” Yuri smiles and rests a close fist underneath her neck.

Is she... flirting with me??? I look over at Natsuki, who looks at Yuri with an odd expression. A mixture of suspicion and... jealousy??? What is going on here!?

“M-maybe not determination...” I say, stumbling over my words slightly. “But I guess passion.” 

“Still... that is impressive.” Yuri smiles again. 

Suddenly, the door swings open behind me, and in bursts Sayori, clearly exhausted.

“Ah, there you are. We found her.” Natsuki addresses Sayori calmly, despite the fact that the door nearly hit me square in the face.

“Jesus! That really startled me!” I put my hand over my heart, feeling it beating fast. “Where were you?”

“Looking...” She huffs in between each two syllables. “For you... of course!” She stands up straight, a large smile on her cute face. I giggle.

“Sorry I'm late, Sayori! I didn't mean to worry you or anything!” 

“It's okay! I'm just glad you're here now.”

“Monika was telling us about how she plays the piano.” Yuri smiles at Sayori. 

“I don-” I start to say.

“REALLY? THAT'S SO COOL!” Sayori interrupts loudly. She jumps up and down, hugging me as she does. 

“Hey!” I push Sayori off, and she starts giggling. “Anyway, since I'm here, we should probably start doing... stuff.”

“Okay!” Sayori beams. Yuri looks relieved. Natsuki once again shoots a disapproving glance. 

“I gotta talk to Natsuki for a bit in private, is that okay?” Sayori asks me.

“Yeah sure! I don't mind.” I smile. Sayori bounds over towards the closet where Natsuki is standing. I try to listen over to their conversation, but it seems hushed. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, I give up on trying to eavesdrop and instead try to talk to Yuri. I sit at the chair in front of her, but in such a way that my legs are on either side of the back of the chair, so I can face her. I smile at her. She hides her face in her book and I can see her start to sweat. 

“What book is that you're reading?” I choose my question carefully and deliberately to try and elicit a full response. 

“It's called the Portrait of Markov.” She says nervously. “It's-” She cuts herself off. “Never mind. I don't want to bore you, or scare you, or make you hate me, or-”

“Yuri! Ahaha! Don't worry so much!” I smile sweetly at her, and she noticeably fidgets. “I'm here for you if you need to talk, okay?” I place my hand on her lower arm to comfort her, but she recoils back immediately, as if I burned her with my touch. Startled, I pull my hand back.

“S-sorry... It's not your f-fault...” She stumbles over her words, clearly panicking. “I just didn't expect it. It's best if you leave me alone now. N-n-no offense! I-I just-” She gulps. “Need to think.”

I feel bad, and almost angry, but not at her. While it's hard for me to understand what's she feeling, I have to respect that. I glance back over at Sayori and Natsuki, still talking. Their conversation must be tense though, as Sayori has her hand on Natsuki's shoulder and Natsuki si refusing to look Sayori in the eye. So I have no choice but to sit down at an empty desk and stare at it. Gathering my thoughts, I shake my head. I reach into my bag and pull out my composition notebook. I lay my head down onto my desk, the events from last night creep on me. I start to fall asleep. Some time later, my phone starts beeping.

“Oh crap!” I stand up quickly and call out loudly. “Okay everyone! It looks like the club meeting is over. Did you guys enjoy today?”

“Yeah! It was fun!” Sayori smiles.

“It was rather peaceful.” Yuri nods.

“I mean, we didn't get anything done in terms of activities, but you know. It was still cool I guess.” Natsuki mumbles. 

“Well, if that's everything, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow!” I stand up and wave them out the door. “Hey Yuri?”

“Yeah?” She stops at the door and turns around. Natsuki and Sayori are already gone. 

“I'm sorry about earlier. You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?” 

Yuri turns red. She opens her mouth to speak, but she doesn't get a word in before running out the classroom, looking down at the ground. 

I sigh. This is gonna be difficult. I don't know how I'm going to get through to Yuri... It's really important for her to have someone... for... me... to have someone. Which is a shame because I thought we really connected today. I just don't know how her mood can change so quickly. Well, I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow.


	6. Regrets and repeats

Fast forward to Friday. Nothing significant enough was in the script to warrant scenes, apparently. All I really remember was talking to Yuri briefly, and getting next to nowhere. I sigh and sit down at my desk. Apart from Yuri, who's sitting at her desk by the window, no-one else is here yet. Yuri has her head in her book, as usual. I sneak a glance at her. It looks like she's almost finished the book. Probably another 50 pages at the most I'd say. I sigh and slump over at my desk. I feel really out of it today. In fact, I feel really hopeless. It's been nearly a week since the Literature club started up but it feels like an enternity, but at the same time, the week has just sped by. It's as if time just speeds up and slows down as it pleases, just to mess with me. Even now, I find it difficult to concentrate on anything. My vision becomes blurry, and I realise it's because I'm crying. I look over at Yuri, but she's so engrossed in her book she doesn't even notice. I take that as a good thing. As President, it's irresponsible for my members to see me so vulnerable. I'm supposed to strong, after all. I look at the clock above the blackboard in the classroom. Natsuki and Sayori are late, but only by about a minute. I sigh. I stand up, and start arranging the desks. Yuri pushes back her chair, in a motion to help me, I guess. I silently tell her to sit down and continue reading. She shoots me a look, but I smile, and that seems to reassure her. She smiles back, then continues reading. No sooner am I finished moving the last desk then Sayori and Natsuki walk in, with very excited looks on their faces. 

“Guess what, Monika?” Sayori says, holding my arms and jumping up down. 

“What?” I ask, startled. 

“We're getting a new member!” She squeals, and grips Natsuki as they jump up and down with glee. 

“Well? Who is it?” I ask. 

I smile, because I know already who it is. I must ask anyway, though, out of politeness, and to not look suspicious. 

“It's a secret!” Sayori giggles. She's clearly very excited about this. She stumbles over. She's even giddy about it. She steadies herself on a desk before speaking again, except this time louder.

“You hear that, Yuri?” 

“Hmm?” Yuri's head pops up from behind her book.

“We're getting a new member!”

“Oooh! That's exciting!” Yuri smiles, then it drops as if she suddenly remembered what that meant. “Wait, what?” She frowns in fear. “Who are they? Are they nice? Do I know them?” She starts to breathe faster.

“Calm down, Yuri jeez!” Natsuki cries, walking over to her and resting her arm on Yuri's. “It'll be chill, alright? They won't be coming till Monday.” She smiles, somewhat evilly. “But for now, it's a secret!”

“Well, I suppose that's cause for a celebration, is it not?” Yuri smirks herself. “And how appropriate for that too, for I have here.... hold on...” She reaches into her inside blazer pocket. “There we are!” 

“Yuri...” I start to say.

“Would anyone like some wine?” She asks calmly, as if it was completely normal.

“Yuri!” Natsuki, Sayori and I all shout in unison. Natsuki collapses to the floor, in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Tears stream down her face as she clutches her sides. Sayori looks very concerned, and starts to scold Yuri, something I have never seen her do to anyone. 

“Oh my God...” I whisper to myself and sit down. I'm so shocked I can barely react. I decide to sit down and wait for the situation to calm down. Besdies, I kind of want to see how this plays out. With my elbow resting on the table and my head resting on my fist, I watch the scene unfold. Natsuki is physically struggling to stop laughing. Sayori is yelling at Yuri to put it away. Yuri starts sweating nervously as her gaze constantly oscillates between Natsuki, Sayori, and the bottle in her hand. She almost looks like she's about to cry. Seeing this, I intervene. Club President must be responsible.

“That's enough, Sayori.” I say firmly, but not unkindly. She looks at me as if to protest, then looks at Yuri's expression and calms down. 

“Put it away Yuri. We're all underage, you know that. It was a kind gesture, but we must be responsible here.”

“But...” Yuri looks upset. She slowly puts the bottle back in her pocket. “I'm sorry, Monika. I wasn't thinking.”

“There's nothing to apologise for. Thank you for being reasonable.” I smile at her. I glance at Natsuki, who has since stopped laughing and is getting herself off the floor. 

“Yeah! It gave me a good laugh, Yuri. God knows I needed it.” She smiles at Yuri, who quickly turns away. 

“Sayori, I think you owe Yuri an apology. You shouldn't have yelled at her like that.” I glance at Sayori, who's looking down at the floor bashfully. Natsuki looks at me oddly. 

“You're right, Monika.” She sniffs, then looks at Yuri. “I'm sorry, Yuri. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I hope I haven't upset you or anything.”

Yuri smiles. “It's alright, Sayori. I know you were only concerned about the club.” She wraps her arms around Sayori. “I'm glad to have you as a friend, Sayori.” She lets go. Natsuki looks stunned, which makes sense. I've never seen Yuri show any sort of sentiment like that. Due to her anxiety, I didn't think she would be the type. Sayori smiles in return, her eyes glimmering with tears.

“Thank you, Yuri. You don't know how much that means to me.” She sniffs again. “I'm glad to have you as a friend too. I love getting along with other people, but most importantly, I love seeing everyone get along with each other. It's important to me, as vice-president.” She smiles at me.

“Group hug?” Natsuki suggests. 

“Yeah. I'd like that.” Yuri smiles. She hugs Natsuki and Sayori together. Everyone glances at me. 

“Come on, Monika!” Sayori says.  
I'm not usually one for hugs. I glance at these poor souls, knowing in the back of my mind they aren't really real. This whole scene was just programmed in. I glance at Yuri, who looks sad and a little disappointed. I shake myself off.

“Sorry about that. It's just not something I'm used to.” I smile, trying desperately to hide my tears. I wrap my arms around the three of them. 

“Yay!” Sayori giggles, jumping up and down while still holding to us. 

I'm the first to let go. I step back and the desk with my composition notebook on it. I smile to myself. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that. Or... needed it. 

“I gotta go the bathroom. But I'll be back, okay? You guys just do your own thing.”

“Are you alright, Monika?” Natsuki glances at me with a concerned expression. She must have read how I felt. She's oddly... perceptive, when she wants to be. I stop in my tracks, one foot out the door. I turn around and flash her a weak smile. I can feel sweat running down my leg inside my stocking. 

“I'm fine. Don't worry about it.” I give her a bigger smile, to the point where my face hurts. She narrows her eyes. She's clearly not convinced, but she doesn't say anything more. I walk out into the hallway. I turn, and immediately run down the hallway to the stairs. I climb a couple steps slowly, my body aching and my breath sharp, before sitting down and starting to cry.

“I can't deal with this!” I scream at nobody. “Why must I live through this again? Why must the world torture me? Tantalise me with all this love that I don't deserve?” My sobbing only gets louder, and I briefly look up to see if anyone heard or saw me, before continuing to cry. It's all my body can seem to do at this point. It's just... Seeing them all so happy together, knowing what I did to them... I don't think I can relive seeing all this again. I know all of their issues were merely exacerbated by me. They still exist. I couldn't create new things, only change what was present. And I certainly can't do anything now. I look at my watch and realise the club meeting is almost over. I have to go back to dismiss the members. As I get up, I notice some dried blood on the stairs. I shiver, and I almost relapse back into my panic attack. Closing my eyes and taking three deep breaths, I regain my composure. Someone could have just tripped and grazed their knee, and the janitors haven't found it yet. It doesn't necessarily have to be-

“Ah.” I think aloud, trying to dismiss the thought. I manage to calm down and walk back to the Club. I suddenly feel much better now. I skip back along to the club and hum a tune. I stop and realise how nice the tune sounded. I make a mental note to try and recreate that on the piano tonight. I swing open the classroom door, with newfound confidence.

“Okay, everyone!” I call our cheerfully, “That's about it for today, the new member is coming on Monday, and I wanna make sure we all make him feel welcome!” 

“Yay!” Sayori beams, then quickly changes her expression. “Wait, how do you know it's going to be a boy?” She eyeballs me, with a mix of concern and suspicion. 

“Did I say him? Ahaha slip of the tongue!” I smile nervously. “I meant to say them, silly me.” I turn to Natsuki. “I look forward to trying your cupcakes.”

“Yeah! Of course!” Natsuki looks down at the ground. “My cupcakes are the best! I'm a pro, after all.” Natsuki's voice trails off at that last part. She shivers a little. I'm not sure how to react. Luckily, Sayori steps in.

“Ehehe yeah! Your cupcakes are always super sweet, like you!” She wraps her arms around Natsuki and kisses her cheek.

“Ew! Did you seriously just do that?!” Natsuki looks freaked out, but her face still turns red. Sensing this, she tries to hide her face. “Anyway! I gotta go. My dad would KILL me if I don't get home soon.” I shudder.

“Goodbye, Natsuki! Have a nice weekend.” Yuri calls out to her, putting her book in her bag.

“See ya, hunny bunny!” Sayori calls out happily. She's too carefree for her own good. Someone like Natsuki could really take that out of context. They're just friends, right? Odd thing to say to a friend. 

I realise I haven't said goodbye, but Natsuki has already left. I'm still shuddering from what she said earlier. Sayori turns to me with her famous concerned expression. 

“Hey Monika, you feeling okay? You're shivering, but it's like 20 [author's note: degrees Celsisus] out.” She gestures to the window, where warm sunlight is streaming inside, illuminating the hard wooden floor with a bright orange glow. 

“I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Sayori. You have your own issues to worry about.” 

“Okay then...” She shoots me another odd look. It's all I seem to be receiving lately. She looks nervous, as if she thinks I've discovered something. “Was I really that obvious?” She whispers to herself. I pretend not to hear and glance off out the window. She rests her hands on my shoulders. I turn and look at her in the eye. Her warm, bright blue eyes seem to stare right into my soul. Or what's left of it, anyway. “We love you and care about you, right Monika?” I nod. “Yeah. Just... hang in there.”

Hang in there? Hang in there!?

Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there Hang in there-

I can't breathe. Sayori's image is fading before my eyes. She constantly cuts in between herself and the horrific apparition I saw in my room two days ago. Out the corner of my eye, Yuri stands up. She hurries over to me. I'm falling. I can't think. All I can hear is those words. Over and over. 

Hang in there Hang in there-

“MONIKA!” Sayori screams. It's the last thing I hear before I black out.


	7. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short after such a long delay, life's been pretty hectic.

I wake up on the classroom floor, a dim blue light outside indicates that the sun is setting. Yuri is nowhere to be found, but Sayori is kneeling next to me, holding my hand. 

“She's awake. Thank God.” I turn my head slightly to see the school nurse looking down on me. She has one hand rested on my forehead, the other on my elevated wrist.

“Your temperature seems to be fine and your heart rate has stabilised. Whenever you're ready, you can go home.” 

I thank the nurse and sit up slowly. Sayori puts her hand on my shoulder and helps steady me. She looks worried, again. Can't say I blame her.

“Are you feeling okay?” Sayori stares at me. “What happened?”

“I... I don't know.” I mumble. I'm only really half-lying, I don't know what happened after I fainted. “How long was I out?” 

“About a couple hours. Yuri grabbed the nurse and then had to leave. She said she was sorry, but her parents would have been worried.” 

“And what about you?” 

“Monika, why would I leave you? And besides, it's not like my parents would know. They're always out all day. They don't get home until like 10 most nights, and then they're gone by morning. Busy people.” 

“Ah. Okay.” I decide not to press further. My brain is too fuzzy to think about anything other than my current situation. “What exactly happened? You said something like 'Hang in there' and then I fainted.”

“Well, yeah. You started shaking violently and then you were hyperventaliting. It's almost as if you were having a panic attack.” She stops and looks up. “Oh God I hope it wasn't my fault!!!” 

“No, no, no, of course not Sayori!” I wince at the sudden movement I made, my head is pounding. “I don't know, I was a little on edge today, and I guess I just got worse. But I'm feeling much better now, you don't need to worry!”

“But I will anyway.” Sayori smiles and helps me up. “Here, I'll walk you home.” She guides out the door before I could protest. I walk slowly, my legs still asleep. She takes my hand, squeezing it lightly. I stumble out through the hallway and down the stairs, gripping her all the way.

“Don't you live like half an hour away from me though? In like the opposite direction from school?” 

She only shrugs, and continues walking. Every so often she would get lost, so I would direct her. I don't know what I would do without her. I could not have managed this walk by myself in my current state, especially so late. I'm glad it's the weekend, so I can get some rest and try and forget about today. I sigh. I check my phone, and the only text I have received is from Yuri, hoping I got home okay. I smile. I make a mental note to remind myself to text her as soon as I get home. I turn to Sayori.

“I cannot thank you enough for this.”

“Monika, you're my friend, and you needed help. It's the least I could do. I know you'd do the same for me.”   
I gulp. She doesn't notice. 

“Have your parents rang or texted you at all?” 

I was afraid of this question. How would she react if she figured out I live alone? That would be devastating. I simply cannot give her more reasons to worry. I decide to lie for now, but I know I'll kick myself later for it. 

“Nah. They're used to me going out after school, so they probably assume I'm with my friends. It is Friday after all. I'll just tell 'em I went to see a movie.” I approach my house. Sayori looks at me.

“Okay! Whatever you say.” She looks down , solemnly, before looking at me dead in the eye. “But promise me you will tell them, right? This is a serious issue.”

I resist the urge to cry. “Of course I will Sayori. Maybe tomorrow. Have a good weekend.” I smile sweetly at her. She flashes me a beam in response. 

“You too, Monika.” She starts to walk away, but then stops. “Hey, take it easy alright? You've had a hectic day. Don't strain yourself~” She flashes me another big smile, before walking off. I notice she's shivering. I look up at the sky and see the sun has almost set. I hope she gets home okay. I close my front door and collapse on the living room couch.

*

Over the weekend, I prepared everything I needed for the new member. I texted Natsuki asking if she remembered to make the cupcakes, which got a dry “Well, obviously. Jeez I'm not an idiot” with a rolling eyes emoji in response. I had to laugh at that one. Yuri texted me telling me she would be bringing her nice tea in, and I sent her a smiley face in response, I also thank her for grabbing the nurse for me and she simply said it was the least she could do. She also apologised for not being able to stay longer, and I just accept it. There's no use in telling her she doesn't need to apologise, she just apologises again. I put my phone back on my bedside table. I sigh. It's Monday morning. 8am. I lay on my back, facing the ceiling. I stare at nothing. I stare until my eyes scream in pain. With everyone ounce of my energy, I groan and sit up. This weekend has been hectic. It seems I didn't quite follow Sayori's advice about 'Not straining myself', whatever that meant. I just have to hope I can live to look at him again. Live with the guilt. Live with how disgusted he is going to be even looking at me. I just wonder...

“Fuck it. It's useless.” I say aloud, now out of bed. In what seems like an eternity, I leave the house and make my way to school.


	8. A New Arrival

In my final period, I find myself just staring down at my desk, not even listening to the teacher. All I can think about is seeing him again. I'm not sure if I can bear it. I can already feel the anxiety well up inside me. I throw up in my mouth a little and start coughing violently. The teacher stops and looks at me, causing the rest of the class to do the same. I smile and wave, and the teacher continues her rant about polynomials. Normally I would be investing all my attention and energy into this stuff (I love Calculus) but right now I just want to sink into the floor and probably die. Well at the very least cease to exist for the next 2 hours. I look around, and discover that everyone has left, and the teacher is desperately trying to get my attention.

“Sorry, Miss Noma.” I quickly snap my head up at her from my front-row desk. Her long brown falls over her face. She brushes it aside as she speaks.

“Are you sure you're okay?” She asks in a concerned-but-not-too-concerned-because-she-wants-to-get-out-of-here-ASAP tone.

“I'm fine. Don't worry about me.”

She looks slightly relieved, but raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” I just nod. She seems convinced. “Alright. You may go, I have to lock the door.”

“Thanks Miss Noma. I'll see you tomorrow first period.” I smile and wave at her, and she does the same.

I half-walk, have-run, to the literature club, keeping my head fixed towards the floor as I go. I hear one of my friends from my Japanese class call out to me, but I just ignore him. Not out of malice, I just wasn't aware he was really there. Now I just feel bad, but my mind is just going mad with all this stress. I tell myself to calm down, with any luck he will have forgotten everything. I smile a little at the thought, but quickly drop my face again. 

“There's no chance he's forgotten.” I mumble aloud to myself. I sigh and approach the club room door. I step inside, no-one else is here yet. I sigh again, but this time it's relief. I could use a chance to relax before this club turns to shit. I sit down on top of the teacher's desk, my legs swinging underneath the open window. Warm sunlight streams through, and a cool breeze tickles my hairless legs. 

“Good thing I remembered to shave.” I mutter slightly, then let out a chuckle. In this short moment I forget all of my troubles ever existing. The radiant sunlight floods my face, causing me to giggle slightly. I stare out the open window. I see Natsuki hurrying along the main path towards the building where the club is trying desperately to hold on to a metal tray which presumably houses the cupcakes. She looks even tinier looking from three floors up. I hear the door creak, and Yuri walks in.

“S-sorry Monika! I hope I'm not too late!” She stumbles over her words in a fit to apologise to me (as per usual), but I just smile at her and gesture with my head to the rest of the classroom. She looks where I'm looking, then back to me, then at her phone, then back at me again. “Where is everyone? I thought I was late!” 

“Seems everyone is late today. Natsuki should be here in a few minutes, I just saw her running towards the building. Not sure where Sayori and M-” I catch myself, and cut my speech short. I don't want to reveal to Yuri I know who our new member is. “Not sure where Sayori is. Probably off to get the new member.” 

“That does sound logical, yes. But I don't see why that should take so long.”

“Maybe they're in the arts building?” The Arts block at our school is on the other side of school from the Languages block, and I distinictly recall him being very good at drawing. Not so much writing, but he draw some very nice drawings next to his poems (which to be honest were pretty mediocre), which I assume were just doodles, but most of them were very cool, such as: Bloody and scarily-realistic eyes, a piece of rope, blood, a broken bottle of what I presume was alcohol, and my favourite one: An image of a girl trapped behind some sort of screen, where the screen had a box which read: “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.” 

“Ah yes, of course. That makes sense. Her arms and legs start shaking, and she quickly makes her way to her desk and plops down her books, keeping her bag on her back. “I gotta go the bathroom really quick. I won't take long.” 

I smile at her, and she quickly hurries out of the room. I can hear a mettallic jangle emanating from her bag as she runs out. I raise an eyebrow, but think nothing of it. Not two seconds after Yuri leaves, Natsuki arrives, carrying her tray of cupcakes. 

“Oh thank God! I'm not late.” She sets her back down on a random desk, balancing her cupcake tray expertly on one hand. “Yo where did Yuri go?” 

“To the bathroom. She'll be back soon.” 

“She didn't take her bag, did she?” Natsuki looks at me intently, a worried expression on her face. 

“Yeah she did...?” I ask, confused. “Why? Are you worried about her?”

“Pssh! Me? Hell no! I was just making sure that is all...” She trails off, her voice getting weaker. She stares out the window for a secon, then snaps back to me. “Where shoud I put these?”

“I suppose you could put them in the closet. There might be an empty shelf there.” 

Natsuki nods and places the tray carefully on the tray at her shoulder level. She walks over and sits on the desk in front of Yuri's, directly facing me. “Let's see how long it takes for her to come back...” Natsuki whispers to herself.” 

“Sorry what did you say?” I ask her, even though I know exactly what she said. 

“Oh nothing.” I'm just a little nervous about our new arrival, you know?” She looks at me and I nod. “I wonder what she'll be like...” 

I swallow. I'm not prepared for this. We sit in silence for a couple more minutes until Yuri comes back. Her face is red, but other than that she looks much better. She looks happier, more.... relieved. 

“5 minutes...” Natsuki whispers. “Hmm...” She stands up and walks over to Yuri. “Hey Yuri! How are you?” She grabs Yuri's left arm and puts her left hand on Yuri's right shoulder. Yuri yelps like a small puppy and jumps back. I'm shocked too, that's totally out of character for Natsuki to greet people, let alone Yuri, like that. I see Natsuki's face flash sour for a split second and see her mouth “I knew it.” but quickly beams again and steps back.

“H-hi Natsuki! You're a little excited today, hehe...” Yuri laughs nervously and rubs the arm Natsuki grabbed. 

“Yeah just looking forward to our new member.” 

“Y-yeah me too...” Is what Yuri says, but definitely not what she means. She's terrified at the thought of meeting another new person after only just getting used to us. If she knew about him... she'd only be more terrified. She rubs her arm again as if to reassure herself, and smiles slightly, but her eyes look guilty. Before I have a chance to question why Yuri is acting strangely, the door opens with Sayori's typical vigour. 

“YOOO WHAT'S UP EVERYONE! THE NEW MEMBER IS HERE!” Sayori shouts. 

“I told you, don't call me a new member-” I hear a deep and familiar voice mutter angrily at Sayori, before stopping when he sees me and the other girls. He swallows, then speaks.

“Hello everyone, I'm Mike Charlie. But you can call me Mike.”


	9. A fifth member, a fifth wheel

I gulp. I gulp again. It's him. He's finally here. As predicted, with the usual entry, as always. I thought something had changed. Mind you he usually doesn't introduce himself, because Natsuki would do it for him. He hasn't seen me so far, I'm just hiding behind Yuri's wide yet shapely body. Natsuki and Yuri approach him nervously. 

“Seriously, Sayori? You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere.” Natsuki pouts. Oh jeez. Wonderful. From over Yuri's shoulder, I see Mike wince and tense up. 

“Natsuki... That's a very rude way to treat someone when you've just met them.” Yuri says in a stern but not unkind tone.

“It's fine, I already know him anyway!” 

“You do???” Mike appears confused, and a little scared.

“Sayori's already told me a lot about you.” Natsuki grins slyly. 

“Like what?” Mike turns to Sayori. “What did you tell her?” He appears frightened, and I noticed afterwards he's looking for me. I shroud further back behind Yuri. 

“Nothing bad I promise!” Sayori presses her index fingertips together and pouts. She starts to sweat. “No need to get so worked up over it!” 

“I wonder what secrets he's hiding if he's that scared.” Natsuki grins again. 

“H-hi...” Yuri says shyly, in an attempt to gain Mike's attention.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Sayori quickly jumps up. “This is Natsuki, she's the cute but assertive one!” 

“I'm not cute! How many times do I have to tell you Sayori?!” Natsuki scowls and blushes. I resist the urge to giggle. “And this here is Yuri, the smartest in the club!” Sayori beams. 

“D-don't say things like that...” Yuri blushes and turns away at the compliment. However Mike doesn't seem to paying any attention. His eyes are still scouring for-

“Well if you're the Vice-President,” Mike says to Sayori. “Where's the President?” 

I swallow. I have to face him. I don't want to. But I have to.

“Our President is right-” She stops. “Monika?” Sayori says, concerned. “It's not like you to be shy. Come on out.”

“I'm not shy, I'm just-” I sigh from behind Yuri's shoulder. I walk around and approach Mike, the most ingenuine smile on my face. “Hi Mike. It's good to see you again.”

He looks me dead in the eye and says nothing for a solid five seconds. His entire facial expression is vacant and unwelcoming. He is clearly not pleased to see. Can't figure out why! “Yeah. You too, Monika.” 

“You know each other?” Sayori inquires. She glances up at Mike, who's much taller than she is. In fact, it seems that Mike is only just a little bit shorter than Yuri, but much taller than everyone else. If I had to guess, he's about 5'11, which makes Yuri 6'0, I'm about 5'9, Sayori is 5'8, and Natsuki is something like 5'2 or 5'3. Difficult to tell, I'm terrible with people's heights. After a brief period of silence, he breaks his gaze at me and responds to Sayori. 

“Oh yes. She and were in the same class last year. We.. well...” Mike trails off. 

“I may have accidentally embarrassed him in front of the whole class.” I respond nervously. It's a straight up lie, but he's not doing a very good job of hiding how he feels about me. 

He raises and eyebrow. “You mean they don't know?” He asks me quietly, gesturing to the other club members. I shake my head. 

“Don't know what?” Natsuki asks excitedely. “Oooh I love gossip.” 

“Natsuki calm down, it's their private business.” Yuri rubs her temples with her fingertips, but I can tell she's curious too.

“He told me he, um...” I giggle nervously. I smile sweetly at him, and he turns away, scowling. But under that facade I saw a faint crack of a smile. Still the same sweetheart. I smile again, this time genuinely. He sighs, then finishes my anecdote. 

“I told her I liked her, and she freaked out and told the whole classroom.” 

“I didn't mean to!!!” I splutter. “It was just so much to deal with right then that I uh... just um... said it.” 

“You went: 'OmG yOU lIKE ME??? WHAT!?!?!?'” I laugh at his terrible impression of me. “At like the top of your volume. I couldn't stand even in a five metre radius without being laughed at for the rest of the year!”

I laugh again. Just remembering it was so funny. It seems that he's going along with my lie for now. But I know he will make me tell the club at some point. I'm not ready for that. “I'm sorry Mike. I promise I'll make it up to you.” I wink at him. He blushes again and turns away. God I'm such a flirt. It's like the one thing I'm good at. 

“So... what kind of things do you guys do usually for activities?” Mike asks. He's clearly bored.

“Um... well...” I trail off. All of the girls look away in embarrassment. “This is kind of embarrassing... but we haven't actually done anything thus far. We mostly just sit and read or talk to each other.”

“Oh. I see...” Mike looks away. I see him sneaking a glance at the door. 

“Sometimes we write poems!” Sayori chimes in. “Like just yesterday I found a poem from Natsuki called-” 

“HEY!” Natsuki shrieks. “Don't just say it!” 

“Sorry... I got too excited...” Sayori giggles nervously. 

“Natsuki you write your own poems?” Mike asks, interested. I see him examine Natsuki's tiny figure. Not in a creepy way, but I guess he's just surprised that someone so small could be so intellectual. “That's impressive.”

“Yeah well!-” She cuts herself short. “Anyone can write a stupid poem, dummy!” She retorts. I can feel my cheeks bursting. Watching this act is just hilarious. It's like she's acting like an anime girl. Honestly it would be sad if it wasn't so funny. 

“I'd disagree.” Yuri pipes up. “Writing a poem takes intense skill. Analysing your feelings and putting them into words requires an intense level of determination and purpose. Being able to express oneself in such a beautiful way is a remarkable skill, and it's really good to start young so that you have more experience down the line.” 

“Hey! I'm not young! I'm 15!” Natsuki retorts. She looks back at Yuri. “But thanks, I guess.”

“Do you have writing experience to, Yuri?” I ask. “Maybe if you share your writing, it might make it easier for Natsuki to share hers.” I smile kindly in an effort to persuade her. She starts to sweat heavily and turns away from me.

“Ah. I guess it's the same for Yuri.” Mike whispers sadly. 

“Aw, I wanted to read everyone's poems.” Sayori whines and slumps onto a chair. We all sit in silence for a minute, thinking. 

“Hey! I've got an idea!” Everyone looks quizzically at me at my interjection. “Why don't we all go home and write a poem of our own? That way when we come to the club tomorrow, we can all share poems with each other!” Sayori jumps up, excited. Mike just nods and shrugs. Natsuki and Yuri look at each other nervously, then turn away, both shaking their heads. 

“I think it sounds like a great idea.” Mike responds. “If everyone does it, everyone is even. We don't have anything to lose really. I'm in.” Sayori doesn't say anything, but nods excitedly in agreement. Natsuki and Yuri both sigh. 

“I suppose I could... if everyone's doing it...” Yuri whispers, almost barely audibly. 

“Ugh! Fine!” Natsuki groans. “I'd hate to be the only one not doing it, so I'm in too, I guess.” She rolls her eyes, pretending to be very disinterested, when I know she's actually terrified. Can't say I blame her. I'm a little frightened too, but for a different reason. This is where it all went down. Where things started to go downhill. All because of my selfishness. I almost start crying, but then Sayori bounds over to me. 

“Yes! And that's everyone! Aren't you guys excited?” Sayori jumps up and down, her hands gripped to my shoulder. Mike examines everyone's expressions and then responds. 

“Well excited may not be the right word, but I'm interested to see how they'll all turn out. Bear in mind I've never done this before, so don't like, judge me if it's not good.” Mike murmers.

“Ahaha! Then that's settled! Okay, everyone!” I stand in front of the desks and address the whole club. “I think that's enough for today. Everyone remember tonight's assignment!” I swallow. “Write a poem to bring to tomorrow's club meeting, so we can all share!”

“Yay!” Sayori jumps up excitedly. She grips Mike's arm. “Ready to walk home, Mike?” She clearly loves having Mike at the club.

“Yeah sure.” He smiles. He follows Sayori out the door and closes it behind him. 

“Um... hey Yuri...” Natsuki mumbles. 

“Hmm? Yes?” Yuri turns to her. “Something wrong?” Yuri seems confused as to why Natsuki would want to talk to her. 

“No nothing's wrong... I just...” She trails off and looks at the window. It's now cloudy, hinting at potential rain tonight. “I see you sometimes on the bus... alone... and I thought... well I usually sit alone too... can I like... sit with you? On the bus today?” Natsuki takes a deep breath. That must have taken all her willpower and energy just to ask that. 

“Um... do you really mean that?” Yuri sweats. “I'm not saying no, it's just... not something I'm used to. Huhu.” She giggles nervously.

“Of course I mean it, dummy!” Natsuki smiles. She appears much more confident now. “Let's go.” She grabs Yuri's hand. Yuri snatches it back at first, but then lets her fingers intertwine with Natsuki's. I smile as I watch them walk out the door together. 

“And that just leaves me. Alone.” I say aloud to no-one. The clubroom is quiet. I'm alone again, as I should be. But this time I feel worse. Seeing Sayori go with Mike and Natsuki go with Yuri really puts the numbers into perspective. I'm just a fifth wheel. It's all I am. I guess this is what I deserve. 

A girl like me was never meant to be loved.


	10. A Meeting with the Main Man Mike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A bit of violence in this one. Male on female.

  
I encounter Mike the next day before the club meeting. He pulled me aside immediately after my last class, gripping my arm hard. He pulls me around the corner from the hall outside the classroom, to a secluded place where no-one could hear us. However a few people walked past us and snicker, remembering what happened last year. Mike notices, and rolls his eyes. He turns to me, an angry glare in his eyes.

"How have you not told them what you did? They deserve to know."

"It's not as easy as it sounds, Mike." I respond, a little too non-chalantly. He grabs my collar and slams me against the wall behind the stairs. Hard. "Ow!"

"Oh yeah? Why?" He growls. "Because you're worried they might feel betrayed? Turn their back on you?" He spits on the ground. "Abandon you? Make you feel like pure shit and leave you for dead? Doesn't that sound awfully familiar?" He snarls sarcastically.

I swallow. It takes me a full minute before I get to speak again. My emotions jump up and drop down like an upset frog. I just feel a mixture of fear, anxiety, dread, and mostly guilt. I can't look him in the eye anymore, and he notices it. He says nothing, but harumphs. He drops me and dusts his hands off on his pants non-chalantly. Finally, I speak.

"I'm different. You're different. We both know that. But we still remember everything. So please, give me some time to try and work out what the fuck is going on!" My voice raises, but only slightly. People are starting to manoeuvre around the stairs, and we look around frantically. I lower my voice to a whisper. "Look, I have been planning to tell them, I just need time to be ready. And... I need you to support me. I know Sayori will trust me if you do, and then the others will follow suit."

He just nods. "Agreed. Anyway we better get to the club." He checks his watch, which read about 10 minutes before the club was due to start. "You go ahead, and I'll catch up. It'll make it look like we weren't together."

I nod in agreement. As I start to walk up the stairs, I stop and look back at him. He's sitting down at the bench under the stairs, muttering to himself something I can't hear. He seems downcast. I mutter a curse under my breath. I'm frustrated. Mostly at myself. I shake my head and continue to walk up the stairs to the clubroom. Opening the classroom door, I can already hear Sayori's cheery voice coming from one of the front desks. Yuri is in the corner, sipping a mug of tea and reading her book. The tea has a strong smell of jasmine that wafts under my nose as I walk by, making my eyes water. Natsuki is sorting through different volumes of manga, examining the covers with slight concern. Sayori is the first to greet me.

"Hey Monika!" She giggles and gives me a big hug. "How are you? You look really pretty today!"

I blink. "Well thank you, Sayori! I'm doing pretty good today. How about you? Nice to see you guys are all early today." I smile, pretending the events that transpired earlier never happened.

"I feel great! I managed to sneak a nap in my last class hehehe." Sayori giggled bashfully.

I want to scold her for that, but the look on her face is just too adorable. Too... innocent. I decide not to shatter it, and instead enjoy it. For now.

"I'm well also." Yuri says from behind her book. She slowly puts it down and takes a sip of her tea. Her eyes are red, it looks like she didn't get much sleep last night. I wonder why that is. I look over at Natsuki, who appears to be in the same way. I decide not to press for answers, as they might just not be wearing any makeup. Besides, it's their personal lives. Mike suddenly walks in. I immediately walk over to him, a big, sweet smile on my face.

"Hi again, Mike! Glad to see you didn't run away on us, ahaha!" I giggle, trying to make the mood between us light.

"Haha yeah." He laughs awkwardly, not buying it. "This might feel a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word."

"Thanks for keeping your promise, Mike." Yuri says quietly, immediately making a beeline for him. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you." She pauses and swallows, then continues. "Diving headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it." She trails off on the last word.

"Oh come on!" Natsuki pipes up, she too making a beeline for him.

"Hoo boy." I mutter quietly to myself. This is where it all started. Where it all turned to shit. Thanks to me and my selfish ass.

"Like he deserves any slack!" Natsuki says indignantly. Mike just rolls his eyes. He has heard this all before after all. "Sayori told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year." She and Mike shoot a quick glance at Sayori, who turns away, embarrassed. "And last year too!" Natsuki pokes Mike.

"Hey!" Mike brushes himself off.

"I don't know if you plan to just come here and hang out or what..." Natsuki continues her spiel as if nothing happened. I roll my eyes. Yuri is tapping her foot, clearly waiting politely to interject on Natsuki's rudeness. "But if you don't take us seriously, you won't hear the end of it!" She steps back with a big grin on her face, as if she won some argument. Her rudeness irritates me slightly, so I use this gap to intervene.

"Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom." I say matter-of-factly. Mike shoots me a look. Yuri chuckles slighty. Sayori looks horrified. Natsuki though, looks very ready to throw hands. She's so flustered she can barely speak.

"M-M-M!!!" Natsuki finds herself stuck between saying manga and Monika. She finally chooses. "MANGA IS LITERATURE!" Swiftly defeated, she angrily storms off back into the closet, idling herself with the manga volumes she was examining earlier. Poor child. She needs to learn to grow up. I should just change-

"NO." I tell myself. I'm ashamed that I would even think of doing something so despicable. That's not like me. That's not who I am. I'm different now.

Right?


	11. Group Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone begins their healing process in the literature club. Odd place to do so, but Monika knows it needs to happen. Mike has an ace up his sleeve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the long delay! Had uni stuff to do haha. Just threw this together in one night. I hope you guys enjoy!

Mike sits down and talks to me after the... altercation with Natsuki. Sayori is gathering some poster paper from the classroom closet, while Natsuki sits idly underneath her reading her manga. Yuri is in her natural habitat, reading underneath the warm sun in the corner of the room.

"So. When do you plan on telling them?" Mike sternly whispers at me.

"You know, my head is really sore from you shoving me up against the wall like that." I reply. "I could report you for that."

"You're not answering the question, Monika." He looks down and grimaces. "Alright I'm sorry for hurting you." He looks back at me. "Now I've apologised. When will you?"

I'm stunned. He really threw me with that one. I just look away from him.

"Hmph. Go figure. I'll go see what the hell Sayori wants." He gets up and wonders over to Sayori, who's jumping up and down trying to get his attention. I look at Yuri, and she turns back to me. Instead of turning red and looking back at her book in embarrassment, she stares at me, searching for my emotions with her eyes.

"You know, I'm never been very good at telling how people feel while talking to them." She closes her book, but remains sitting, staring in front of her. "But it's when I glance at them, when they're not really paying attention, that I truly understand. I guess it's one of the perks of having Autism." She looks at me, chin resting on idle hands. "Penny for?"

Her forwardness startles me greatly. I don't even know what to say at first. I glance at Mike briefly, seeing Sayori point towards the classroom door, beaming. He nods, and they make their way over there. Natsuki looks sad.

"Ah." Yuri says softly. "It's the face, not the voice, that speaks all, my dear."

"That's very poetic."

She chuckles. "I could write many poems about all the troubles I see on your pretty face. You've got the whole world resting on your shoulders, and your one confidante doesn't seem to appreciate that all. In fact I'd say he seems angry at you."

"You could say that." I nod. Her empathy is astounding. "It's more... he's waiting. Waiting for me to make an important decision."

"So tell him."

"What? No!" I reply quickly. I glance over at Natsuki, who's clearly listening, but pretending she isn't. I let it slide. "It's not that at all. And lower that eyebrow!" I sigh, and lean back in my chair in a slump.

She chuckles again. She gets up and walks over to me, pulling up an adjacent chair. She sits down, facing me. "Let's say I believe you. If it's not that, then what is it?"

I stare away from her, looking directly at Natsuki. She pretends to laugh at something in her manga, deliberately not making eye contact with me. "He's waiting for an apology."

"From you? What on earth did you do?"

"A lot of things. A lot of terrible, terrible things, Yuri. And I cannot explain all of that now."

"And you don't have to." She takes my hand. This side of Yuri is not one she shows normally, but it's definitely the side I need right now. "All will come in due course." She definitely means it, but I can see the curiousity creeping across her face.

I turn to look at her, and grip her hand. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me right now. I really, really appreciate everything you've done for me."

"It's the least I could do. After all, I know you'd do the same for me." She looks down and chuckles. "Hah! You've already tried. You just need to get me at the right time." She winks, and sits back down at her window seat, resuming her escape into her book.

*

  
At that moment, the door swings open, and Mike walks in, his arm on the shoulder of a moaning Sayori.

"Ooooh..."

"Just keep it steady, and don't move too fast."

"I am! Don't fuss." She waves him off and sits down next to me. "Hey Moni."

"Jesus Christ are you alright?" I see the cool can pressed against her forehead.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"You took a rather nasty fall is what you did." Mike interjects.

"I told you not to worry about me!" She groans and clutches her forehead tighter. "It wasn't that bad. I just lost a fight with a shelf haha." She giggles a little bit, causing her to wince in pain.

"I'm gonna talk to Natsuki real quick." Mike announces. "You stay there with Monika." He looks at me. "She'll look after you.

I nod in return, giving him the stern expression he needs. He nods back, receiving my telepathic message. Yuri hasn't noticed a thing. I think her consoling me took all her energy.

I gently place one hand on Sayori's shoulder and another on her hand, which she takes in return. She smiles at me.

"Thanks Moni. We got all the supplies you needed for the festival."

"Ah yes. Forgot about that. Thank you so much. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine!" She laughs. "God I don't want you fussing too."

This is my chance. I must take it. "But why?"

She freezes. I think I've made a mistake. But I must press on. I ask again.

"Why do you not want me - or Mike, for that matter - to worry about you?"

Her eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling. Her face just goes completely blank. After what seems like an eternity, she responds.

 

"I don't know. I just don't know."

 

_Mike's POV._

 

Talking to Natsuki is like talking to a brick wall. Except the brick wall constantly punches you in the face. God I CANNOT seem to get through to her.

"Look, Natsuki. It's clear you care about Yuri. You WANT to be with her, so why not?"

"Just shut up, already!" Natsuki growls harshly at me. "I told you, I don't like her! She's a stuck-up, rude, bitch who only cares for herself!"

I raise an eyebrow. All those qualities describe Natsuki, not Yuri. I can see Natsuki is projecting. I need to dig. I need to find what is actually going on.

"Ok then. What's the problem."

"What do you mean what's the problem I told you-"

"Not with Yuri, idiot, I mean YOU. What's going with you that makes you like this? There has to be more to it."

"Well excuse you, pally! I dunno who taught you how to console people but they were clearly a dumbass!" She retorts. I was a bit too harsh with that. I'll try again.

"So you admit you need consoling?" I smirk. She freezes, then scowls.

"No, I-"

"I know you throw up this whole macho facade to hide how you truly feel." I interrupt, speaking softly and reassuringly (I hope). "You blame others for your own feelings. You act tough, because you want to be tough, but it doesn't work. You're small, and you hate it, so you have to act big so people will see you like that. You have insecurities, Natsuki. HORRIBLE insecurities. And if you'll just LET ME IN, I can help you. I know how happy you would be if you and Yuri were together. I know how happy SHE would be. Both of you need to stop chasing after false dreams written - or in your case drawn - on pieces of paper. You need each other. And until you see that, you will always be lost." I finally stop. That felt good. I hope she listens. I get up, and as I do, she grabs me.

"No wait!" She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. I see bruises on her neck from above. "Please, listen to me."

I sit back down across from her, cross-legged. I look directly into her eyes, and she does mine as she speaks.

"You're right. It is a defense mechanism." She starts to cry, and rolls up the sleeves of her arms, revealing horrible scars and bruises, several of them bleeding. "I can't live like this. It's HIM. it's all HIM."

"Who, Natsuki?" I touch her leg, gently.

"My dad." She sobs. "He blames me for everything." She looks up at me. "So I blame everyone else, for everything too. It's all I've ever known. And as for hiding my feelings?" She looks down again. "That's to hide them from myself. Not anyone else. If I ever had someone I love, I don't want to treat them like the way my father did me, or my mother."

"And that won't happen, because you are not your father. The way you have lived previously will not always be the life you live." I graps her hand tightly. "They say history repeats itself, but they also say that mistakes are how we learn. I will be your guide through this, into your new life. And so will Monika, once you tell her." I glance at Monika, who's resting Sayori's head on her shoulder. Monika is rubbing Sayori's hand gently.

"Monika!?" Natsuki cries.

"SHUSH!" I hush, but no-one seems to have noticed.

"I can't tell her!" She lowers her voice to a harsh whisper. "She has too much on her plate."

"Oh trust me, I think you'll find she's capable of a LOT. She owes us all quite a lot. And so do I."

"Owes US?" Natsuki says, confused. "If anything we owe her a lot, from the club and all."

I shake my head. "I cannot explain everything now. Monika should be the one to do that. And she will." I look at Monika again. "I hope."

 

_Monika's POV._

 

I wipe a tear from Sayori's eye. I hope that did the trick. Everything seems to be ok, for now. I see Mike approach and I tell Sayori to go talk to Natsuki for a bit. She looks between Mike and myself, and then nods. She gets up and walks over to Natsuki, who looks like absolute death.

"What on earth did you do to her?" I ask Mike, regarding his conversation with Natsuki.

"What I needed to. She cracked. She told me everything." He sits down next to me.

"EVERYTHING?" I cry. "How the fuck did you manage to do that?"

"I had to be fierce. She's a tough nut to crack. I had to break her to open her."

"You opened Pandora's box is what you did." I look at her, bruises cover up her arms. Sayori hugs Natsuki, and it takes a few seconds for her to hug back. Yuri is still oblivious.

"Have you talked to Yuri yet?" He asks me. "I saw you talking to Sayori. I think you cracked her too."

"I was not as fierce as YOU were," I say harshly. "And I guess that means I didn't get everything. But I managed to get a start. She told me why she didn't want us to worry about her. But I haven't got the... you know... yet."

"Hmm." He nods. "And Yuri?"

"Funny thing actually. Instead of me talking to her, it was her talking to me."

"Wait, really?" He asks. "God something IS different."

"Hmm hmm." I nod. "She really got me to open up. She knows how I feel about you now. Keeps telling me to confess."

"Oh God don't say that word."

"Sorry..." I forgot the connotations behind that, especially regarding Yuri and Sayori.

"But that's interesting. And what did you tell her?"

"I told her I needed to apologise."

"Good." He nods and looks away. The three girls are all looking at him. They nod in unison.

"What's going on?" I whisper to him.

"Well I need to apologise too." He says.

"For what?"

 

"For this." He says, before punching me right in the face.


	12. My Confession

"Guhh..." I moan. My head is swimming. My eyes start to open slightly, and someone notices.

  
"Wake up." I hear a deep voice talking to me, clicking their fingers as they do so. "Wake up, Monika."

I slowly start to regain consciousness. "Wha?"

"WAKE UP!" 

"AH!" I scream and jump awake. I look around. The classroom walls are completely bare, and the room is empty, save for a desk, two chairs either side of it, and three chairs in a line behind it. I reside in one chair by the desk, facing the three chairs behind the desk. I look at the chair opposite me, the man sitting it on is-

"Hello Monika." Mike rests his elbows on the desk and his chin on his hands. His short brown hair and vibrant brown eyes look so pretty in this light. Up this close. 

"Mike. What is going on here?" I ask him. Even though I'm not physically bound, I feel trapped in this chair. I look around. The three chairs at the back are occupied by Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri, left to right. They look just as confused as I am, if a little bored. I gulp. They must have been here a while.

"You don't recognise this place?" Mike smirks.

"Yeah, where are we?" Natsuki grumbles from behind him. "You haven't told us a thing."

"Hush Natsuki. I told you, Monika has to tell you."

I stare at him with my eyes slit, confused. Mike makes a slight motion towards the window behind him, and I look. Oh no.

"We're... here..." I mumble quietly. "In the literature club." 

"Your special little void." He finishes.

I stare right through him. "Where I took you."

"Correct." 

"Where you 'took' him?" Natsuki repeats. "Monika what the hell is going on?"

I say nothing. Mike raises an eyebrow at me, asking me to speak without saying anything. "Fine." I sigh. "I owe you all an explanation." I stand up. "But first, why the hell did you punch me?"

"Ah. Yeah. Sorry about that." Mike shrugs. "I needed you unconscious so I could set up the room. The other girls were easy - I just had to click my fingers - but I had to force it on you." 

"Since when did you get so much power? And why did the girls nod at you before you punched me?" 

"I guess I can answer your questions before you answer ours." He shrugs again. "You became the protagonist, right?"

I nod. 

"So someone had to replace the string-puller. And who better than the former protagonist who still remembered everything, huh?"

"I see." I'm just beginning to understand. I need more.

"It was all a matter of 'mind control'." He gestured to the three girls. "I just needed a trigger word. 'Good' seemed good enough. I used it to start the process after we planned the poetry writing. The second time was just the kicker. Who do you think has been speaking to you this whole time?"

I gasp. Of course it was him. But that could only mean-

"Did you send that... apparition to my bedroom?"

"Not intentionally, no. I needed you to feel guilty, yes. This was when I was still figuring out my powers. I was very angry and thinking about... what happened... when I sent it."

"And you just, let it happen???"

"I couldn't stop it."

"And all those subtle-but-not-really-subtle messages from Sayori? Ones that made me PASS OUT IN PANIC!?" 

"Oh that was no interfering from me. I just told her to say that to you." 

"Yeah and it made me feel horrible! I felt sick the whole weekend." Sayori calls out. She looks tired. They all do.

"I've answered enough." He looks sternly at me. "It's time you talk."

"Ok. Ok." I say. I stand up and walk over to the window behind the girls. I rest my hand on the windowsill and look out into the endless void. 

"What is this place?" Natsuki asks me again.

"It's the void. My void." I sigh. "Where I took Mike after I destroyed everything. Just to keep him with me, forever." 

"Why?" Sayori begged me, tears filling her sweet little eyes. "Why did you need to do that?"

I turn to face her, and notice that she's holding on to Natsuki for dear life. Yuri is squeezing Natsuki's hand on the other side of her. Natsuki looks defeated. But they're all staring at me, wishing death upon my soul.

"I'll tell you." I finally say after decades of silence. "But you have to promise that you will not interrupt until I'm completely finished."

"B-but-" Natsuki starts to protest, but Yuri hushes her. 

"Let her talk." Mike says. "We at least owe her that after what we did."

"Thank you Mike." I take a deep breath, in and out. "I'll start from the beginning. Do you want to know how long we've been alive? Because it's not 15, 16, or 17 years." 

"Monika? What are you saying?" Yuri looks scared, albeit a little excited, oddly enough. 

"We've been alive, in this timeline, since you woke up one week ago, on Monday." 

"WHAT!?" Natsuki cries, jumping up from her chair. "No. You're lying. I distinctly remember my birthday 3 months ago-"

"Didn't I tell you not interrupt me?" 

She sits back down.

"And no, I'm not lying. It's very true. Tell me: Yes you may remember significant events like birthdays and holidays, but do you remember anything mundane that you did before the day I started the club?

"I bought a bottle of wine." Yuri replies.

"Yes of course, the bottle you offered to us at the Literature Club. Do you actually remember buying it? Where you got it from?"

Yuri thinks for a minute. "N-no I don't..." She lets go of Natsuki and covers her face with her hands. "Oh God..."

"You don't remember because it never happened. This world started and will end with the literature club. And I knew that. I knew that in every single timeline. That's why I did it."

"Did what?"

"Hurt you. All of you." I starts crying, remembering the horrible tale. "First I made Sayori more and more depressed, just trying to drive her away from Mike, so that I could have him." I sob. "But it didn't work. And in the end... Sayori hung herself, leaving Mike wrought with guilt at the sight." 

A dead silence fell over the whole room. Mike and Sayori exchange glances, and Sayori starts crying, softly, as if not to disturb me. 

"That started the corruption of the world itself. It deviated from the story so greatly, it started buzzing out a lot. I ended up having to erase Sayori from the game, everyone's memory." I inhale deeply, sucking in the tears from my eyes. "It was quite simple really." I smile falsely. "There was a folder right there with all our names, in alphabetical order. All I had to was hit 'delete file' and bam! Gone forever." I look deeply into Sayori's eyes. "Before Mike joined the club, I pondered forever whether or not to delete myself from the files. After all - my life wasn't real. What's so good about this world if wasn't real? But Mike came along and changed all that. Or so I thought." I turn back around. "But I digress. After I deleted Sayori, the world simply reset. No-one knew of Sayori's memory, not even Mike." 

" 'Mike'." Mike says simply. "That's not even my real name." 

I nod. "That's right. Your name was whatever deemed fit for the player. Believe me I've seen some weird ones."

"Oftentimes it was the names of any of the other girls, to test what this 'video game' was capable of." Mike says. 

"Video game?" Natsuki asks. "What on Earth do you mean?"

"I forgot to mention that." I answer. "Like I said, the world isn't real. It's all a story. We're all in what's called a 'Visual Novel Dating Simulator.' We're basically anime characters. We're all pawns designed to just fall in love with the player."

"Disgusting." Yuri replies. She shivers all over.

"That's what I thought too." I say. "But the problem was, I was deeply enamored with the player to even care about my own free will, and the consequences of my own actions. I was a monster."

"Sorry, you said the world reset?" Natsuki asks.

"Yes, sorry." I responds. I realise that Sayori has not said a single word during this entire sequence. It's all been Natsuki asking questions and Yuri being shocked. It's like she's not even here.

"After the world reset, the story just started from the beginning, with some minor changes as a result of Sayori's... disappearance. For example, I was the one who had to encourage Mike to join, guilt-tripping by telling him that we needed a 4th member to make our club official. There we no cupcakes or tea that day."

Yuri and Natsuki gasp.

"Glitches became more and more frequent - the world kept changing. Most of them eluded the player of Sayori's death, as if Sayori was tampering with the game beyond the grave."

Sayori shudders. Mike gets up from where he was sitting and sits with Sayori, a hand on her leg. She smiles at him. My heart pounds. 

"No time for that now!" I yell at myself mutely. I press on. "That only left two obstacles. Natsuki and Yuri. Natsuki's attitude was already self-destructive on her own-"

"Hey!" Natsuki interrupts.

"So I figured Yuri was the only 'threat'." I turn around and look at Yuri. "So I started making you more obsessive. I hoped your creepy nature and clingy nature would drive Mike away and come to me. After he didn't, I realised that the game wouldn't let him go for me. That if I wanted him, I would have to take him by force." I pause for a moment. "Yuri, would you be a sweet and lift your sleeves?" 

Yuri's face turns white. "B-b-both of them?" She starts shaking. "Why?"

"You know why. I know, and so does Mike. Believe me."

Yuri reluctantly pulls back her sleeves, revealing one bare (if pale) arm, and another riddled wrist to elbow in deep, fresh scars. She starts to cry. Sayori stares in horror and covers her mouth. She looks like she's going to throw up. 

"Yuri..." Natsuki says, laying her hand on Yuri's bare arm. "I always suspected but... I just hoped it was my imagination. You should have told me."

"How could I? Seeing all of you like this now?" Yuri covers her face. "It was an awful obsession. The only way for me to relieve tension and stress." Yuri looks at Natsuki. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Natsuki smiles and hugs her.

"I already knew you loved knives Yuri, so I took your little obsession and made them worse. I made your insecurities worse. I managed to form-fit your obsession with Mike and your obsession with knives. I made you want Mike so badly you wanted to die." I paused. "And then I put you to a test. I influenced you secretly into bringing the sharpest knife you have to school with you the Friday before the festival." 

"I still remember all of this." Mike says. "I watched you grope me. Brought me a poem of an illegible mess, stained with your blood, spilt tea, your urine, and something else. I watched you confess your undying love for me. I heard tell me you wanted to rip my insides out and crawl inside the hole. I watched you pull out the knife..." He trails off. Yuri starts to cry harder. 

"And plunge it three times into your own chest." I finish for him.

"You're a monster." Natsuki scowls at me.

"I know. This was all my fault and I know." I start sobbing too, and bring my chair closer to everyone and sit down. "And I'm not even finished." I clap my hands together and stare at the ground. "At this point, the story got so corrupted it didn't know what to do with itself. It ended up just streaming the same dialogue - in code - over and over and over. Mike just sat there, cradling Yuri's body day and night, not moving. For the whole weekend."

Sayori finally vomits. She quickly turns her head so it only goes on the floor. "Sorry..." She says weakly. It's the first thing she's said in an hour. Mike waves his hand and the vomit disappears.

"Carry on." He says. 

I nod at him a thanks. "Natsuki finally arrives Monday morning, sees Yuri's body, and vomits, running from the room." 

"What a disgusting parallel." Natsuki says, looking at Sayori.

"I walked in, looked at the mess, and laughed. I LAUGHED." I frown in shame, not daring to look at anyone's face. "Then I destroyed the world, leaving behind only what you see now. This void. And that's where I took him. I explained everything, in great amusement, to Mike. He couldn't even say a word."

"Because you wouldn't let me." He interjects.

"I know." I say, nodding. "I know. I wouldn't let you do anything. I finally got what I wanted and nothing was gonna stop me."

"Apart from a little file."

"Yes, my character file. Natsuki and Yuri had been deleted, leaving me."

"Just... Monika."

"Just Monika." I nodded. "Forever. Or so it seemed. Mike eventually found it himself and deleted me from existence. Destroying the game entirely." I stare out the window. "Little fragments of me were still there though. Still enough that I could do some things. In fact, I was more whole than I had ever been, despite not having a physical sprite. I realised the horror of what I'd done, and brought everything back. Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, the literature club. All the pieces were back together, and my broken mess was discarded, never to be seen again. I didn't want to hurt anyone again, so instead of restoring myself, I watched the world reset, destroying the rest of myself." 

"So in a way, you redeemed yourself?" Sayori says. "You payed your retribution! Haha!" She starts giggling. Yuri chuckles a little as well.

"Not exactly." I reply, and Sayori's face drops. "You see, even though I was gone, the role of President had to go to someone." 

Sayori looks back at me, seeing me stare at her. "M-me?"

"Yep. Without me, the game chose a new President. Someone else with the same knowledge and power I did. Luckily you had more morals then I did, and Mike had more brains than before."

"What did I do?" Sayori asks, her face as white as a sheet. She clearly did not like where this was going.

"On the first day Mike joined, you took him aside and thanked him for getting rid of me. Instantly he knew something was wrong. You were simply gonna do the same as I did, albeit perhaps in a different way. I don't know how it happened, but I think he managed to summon the void classroom for a couple brief moments during your rather creepy speech. And that's when I came back. I saw what was happening and put a stop to it. I deleted Sayori again, this time saving Mike instead of myself. I told him I was sorry and that I was wrong, and ended up erasing the world. And that's where the story ended." I stand up. I give everyone a second to take everything in. Mike stands up and walks over to me, giving me a nod.

"I'm so sorry for everything I did then. But it's different now. Now I'm the player, and Mike's the President, even though I still run the literature club. Does that sense?"

Everyone scratches their heads. 

"A little, yes." Yuri finally says. "And believe me, after hearing everything that happened, I'm not surprised you acted how you did. It must have been awful. Apology accepted. After all, if this is a different timeline, then what you're talking about never happened, right?"

I smile. "I guess, yeah. But that doesn't make it right. I remember it all, and so does Mike." I look at him. He nods and, to my great surprise, gives me a hug.

"Well done Monika, thank you. It's all over now." He says. "You did it."

Yuri gets up and hugs me as well. Sayori still looks sick, so simply smiles at me without getting up. Natsuki pouts and looks away from me. I sigh. It's going to take a long time for her to forgive me. 

"Just one thing I'm not sure of:" Natsuki says. "How come I didn't have to die?"

"I'm really not sure." I reply. "I think it was because you were never Vice-President. With Sayori gone, the game just chose Yuri as VP." 

"And what was my riddling problem that got exacerbated, as you say?" Natsuki frowns, standing up.

"Why don't you undo your collar and show us yourself?"

Natsuki turns dead silent, and sits back down slowly. Mike and Yuri let go.

"Oddly enough, you actually got nicer in the second Act. I think Yuri acting so strangely and aggressively, especially towards you, got you worried, as you saw her as a confidante. Someone you could talk to without them trying to writhe information out of you." 

"Information like what?" Natsuki narrows her eyes. Yuri turns around, looking at Natsuki with a weird expression. 

"Like what your parents are like. Why you always cover up your neck, even on warm days. Why you're so small." 

"W-well excuse you, I-" 

"Natsuki, I knew Sayori was depressed, and still is, actually." Everyone glances at Sayori, who just looks at the ground. "So naturally I would know you father beats and starves you."

Natsuki looks shocked, as does Yuri. Yuri runs over and pulls Natsuki in for a tight hug. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I didn't know."

"Ah! Quit it Yuri!" Natsuki struggles to let go. "You're squishing with your- ugh!" 

Yuri drops Natsuki, who then brushes herself off. 

"Can you change any of that now?" 

I shake my head. "Mike can't either. He can just stop it from getting worse. We have to use more conventional means."

"You know, ones that don't involve messing with coding and programming." Mike elaborates.

"Ok, ok." Natsuki says. "So I guess we just have to work together, then. To help each other." 

I nod. "Yeah. We're the literature club. We look out for our members." I smile at Mike, and he smiles at me. 

"Can we leave this place?" Sayori asks. "It's making me scared and sick."

"Good idea." Mike says. The girls' faces instantly go blank for a second, before falling asleep on their feet. "Hold on tight, this'll hurt a little bit." He puts his arm around my waist, grabbing me, before snapping his fingers, making everything go black.


	13. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confession has left everyone broken, including Monika. It's up to her and Mike to set things right, but how can she do that when the girls can no longer trust her?
> 
> And what's happening to Monika's house?

"So. Where do we start?" Natsuki asks. We're back in the regular clubroom. Everything is back to normal, except our mental states, apparently. It's clear everyone is VERY shaken up from the events that have just transpired. I wouldn't be surprised if this simply adds to their trauma rather than relieves it.

"We have a lot to do." Mike nods. "And unfortunately the events and the dialogue are all centered around Monika, so it's basically up to her to help each of you."

I nod. "It basically boils down to dialogue options given to me, and choices I make based on those. They usually consist of a question I could ask, or a person I choose to spend time with. They don't come up all that often, I generally have some control over my actions. Unfortunately this also means that YOUR actions, thoughts, and behaviour are indirectly influenced by these choices. For instance if I could only spend time with one person this weekend, and I chose Yuri, Yuri might be excited, or scared, or both. Natsuki on the other hand might feel annoyed, left out, and she'll most certainly speak out against my choice.

"Hey I wouldn't do that!"

Everyone ignores Natsuki's protest.

"I don't really know where I can really start per se," I continue. "But what I can do tonight, since we're all incredibly tired and frankly a bit traumatised-"

"You can say that again." Natsuki mumbles.

"Is challenge you to be mindful of your struggles and wherever you can, try to avoid giving in to intrusive thoughts." I glance down at Natsuki. "As for you, since your struggles aren't a result of your own mind, you'll have to work out another approach."

"I'll be fine tonight." Natsuki says solemnly and slumps. "Papa's usually too tired to do anything on Mondays."

"And what about your mother?" Yuri asks.

Natsuki starts sobbing.

"Ah. I s-see. Sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No it's fine Yuri. It was a reasonable question." Natsuki wipes a tear from her eye, mascara starts dripping down her face. "She died when I was very young. Not long after, the abuse started. He blamed me for his shortcomings and he took his grief out on me."

Yuri opens her mouth, presumably to apologise again, but thinks better of it.

"So you think you'll be fine with another night back at home?" Mike asks.

Natsuki nods.

"Alright. In that time, Monika and I will think up a game plan to help you get outta there."

"Thank you." Natsuki wipes her face. "Thank you so much." She says in a tone I don't think I've ever heard from her. She sounds genuinely thankful.

"I suppose you'll want my knife..." Yuri says, reaching into her bag, but Mike shakes his head.

"No need." He says. "What's the point anyway? You have dozens in your collection at home."

Yuri sweats. "I suppose that's true..."

"Besides. I know how much your collection means to you." He puts his hand on her shoulder. "It has to come from you. You have to resist the urge. Every time you get the urge, splash cold water on your face instead. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and pull it so it smacks your wrist. If you need to, just look at your knife collection, but don't touch them."

"Ok... I'll try..." Yuri's legs shake a wee bit.

"Just remember that if you relapse, that's okay." I add. "Don't think of it as a step back, recovery is an awkward process. This goes for you Sayori, as well."

"Eh???" Sayori looks at me with a scared and upset expression on her face.

"You might have days when you're actually excited for the day ahead, other days you want to curl up into a ball on your bed for 10 hours. Whatever you choose is up to you, but as long as you give it your best effort, you'll get through it. Both of you." I give Sayori and Yuri a hug. "I'm proud of you, all of you." I motion to Natsuki, who joins in. Mike kinda stands aside awkwardly, in an effort not to intrude. After all, Natsuki and Yuri don't know him that well yet, or rather they do, and they just don't remember it. God just thinking about it confuses myself.

"I'll help you as best as I can, Sayori." Mike says, after the hug breaks. "Since I'm close to you, I can come over and check on you regularly. Well, I can also check on Natsuki and Yuri as well, since I can see what other people are doing if I wish, but I don't want to abuse my powers too much, in case I turn into... well..." He trails off, not wanting to say what he meant. But I knew. We all did. The girls looked at me briefly before quickly staring off in different directions, utterly fixated on different parts of the classroom. I sigh internally. "It's also kinda gross as well, since you won't know I can see you. I'll try to limit it best I can, and only at appropriate times. I'll just stick with Sayori, since I can check up on her like a normal human being would." He walks over and puts his arms around Sayori. "I'm not gonna let it happen again."

Sayori starts crying and returns the hug. Mike looks up briefly and nods to me, signalling my cue to leave.

"Let's give them some space." I say to Yuri and Natsuki, who just nod. I hold the classroom door open as they walk out. Closing the door behind me, my sense of hearing gets muffled. It's almost as if my senses are dampened when I'm not with Mike. Or Sayori. Can't tell which one. Or maybe it's my guilt playing tricks on my ears. Natsuki and Yuri can't even look at me. Can't blame them. They're just walking ahead of me by about a couple metres. Much to surprise, they're holding hands. My heart pounds. I look out the window. The afternoon sun sits hesitantly above the horizon. The day is barely over, and I already feel exhausted. The others must feel the same. Natsuki and Yuri are talking quietly to each other so I can't hear them, but I don't care. I take in the environment around me as we turn towards the stairs.

I bid them goodbye at the bus stop, and proceed to walk home. By myself. I'm glad that I finally got it off my chest, but the animosity the club is giving me is obvious. I feel low and sombre, much like one would feel after hearing tragic news. I can't tell if it's better or worse that I was the one who delivered this said news.

I collapse on the couch downstairs. I hear a faint buzzing noise in my eardrums, like a bee trapped in a glass. Vague areas of the room start glitching, merging with the void. The buzzing noise starts getting louder and louder until eventually I black out and lose my senses to the void. 


End file.
